how to loose your love after 13 years.....................

It started long back, when he still used to go school in shorts ,waiting for the bus which was not yellow then . He stood with serious notions on his face which were far beyond his age. The toddler was always the same but still was a black sheep. He always tried to be Samaritan but his face was never loyal to his expression. He started building a feeling of self guilt but was never did he allow his thinking to be overtaken by his emotions.

Things were the same again as they were year back. As the new session started, his countdown began, as there was only a month left for them. It was a Month for his fellow mates but for him it were just 30 days, which had four Sundays too. This boy was a "Man of Hope", a kind who loved Saturdays more than Sundays because Sundays didn’t had a Sunday on the next.

As the countdown to full Spree days was about to reach the half, this was the first time the bells rang inside him. First time he stopped and kept staring at a girl, well this was the time he had his first Crush. The first time he dared, he didn’t knew the meaning of this word but he still dared. First time, his joy was so overwhelming that he didn’t had the time to think when it’s going to end. And his Utmost dare was that he rose of his seat and sat on the bench adjacent to her, without even having an idea the he will be stared by the minnows and the biggie is going to bully him hard this time.

For the next many years, his feelings he shared to none. He neither did something macho for his dear, about which he could boast. He just kept looking on her angelic face. And if he caught her eye during this, he would be scared like hell, more than when he shows his grades to his dad. He had a kind of split personality cause at school he was loud, aggressive, liveliest in his class, whatever he could do to attract her. But at home, He was always meek, with serious expressions with seldom a smile on, which he always thought to be ugliest, his face. This feeling of self guilt came because of his constant thinking of her and doing things to catch her attention, though with funny consequences. Silly teenagers! Who else will go and mimic his physics teacher with knowledge that man is going to suck everything in you during practicals. With every increasing day in his life, his grades suffered a constant downfall. From top 5, he was now in the bottom 4. A boy, who ponders about single deducted mark, had no worries. Not even dad, nor his ever negative thinking, thinking he was a grown up now. that was the time hwn he felt that his every deed took him one step ahead to nothing. Now he knew how too loose your love after 13 long years ,with not even a few gud memories to cherish.

With his every crush, his first crush started to turn into an obsessed love. But this love story had the worst end he could ever think of. Regular Booze sessions and nights with tears till falling asleep, cursing his own existence.he knew that he had lost the one he wanted the most. But he evolved, keeping his feelings shut inside where they won’t be given a second chance, keeping his virginity, why?
Either cause he couldn’t get the one whom he wanted to give it to or he couldn’t find someone who was worth his most priced possession……….

adios! people
SvG The PoEt MaNqUe