Though my life is totally messed up but i am having this momentarily joy of being anonymous. I can whine, i can swear , i can do what ever i like and i wont be stereotyped. for this is my alter ego , the face of life not everyone knows.
My assignments are due , been out of work and no one to talk to. The one with whom i could be the real me. How good life could be and yes i can say it LOUD and CLEAR. But the fact is i am feeling a kind of content. I am enjoying my streak of continuous entertainment, watching DEXTER. I am done with first two seasons and half way through third. Downloading songs, watching random videos on you-tube, looking around on regular things that look so strange, just to keep the shit out of my head. I left home two years ago and today i am sitting miles away when my family ( ma , dad and my sister and my best friend ) need me the most. I have so much to do that i am overwhelmed. So overwhelming that i cant express myself. Most of people cant do it might be what you will be thinking but this was something i was good at.
This is the first time i am not feeling anything. I have always thought of myself as a FEELER. First i thought it was negative emotions taking toll of my senses but i tried things i am addicted to music but that didnt work , Even Bob Marley , i couldnt even feel his music. Everytime i try to force myself to feel something my brain retorts MEH! My brain has never been such a bitch. Countless blog updates on my anonymous blog, stalking around facebook , stroll in the nearby park on a Saturday night and realizing i was talking to myself out loud. That sucks! My creations are not as feeling-less but whatever this blog has is the most bizzare shit i ever produced.
If there is God or somehow any higher power i want to say
Dude! i am fucked up. Please help
Ps dont mind the grammatical mistakes. if something doesnt makes sense it is not supposed to
Cheers
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